"I genuinely don’t know how this hotel has managed to achieve a 4-star rating, unless the stars were awarded for the number of CCTV cameras around the complex. There were so many cameras that by the end of the stay I expected David Attenborough to appear from behind a bush and start narrating my holiday.
Let’s start with the room. Calling it “dirty” would be generous. It had ants including ants in the bed. Nothing quite says “luxury hotel experience” like getting into bed and discovering you’ve apparently booked an stay for an entire colony.
The room layout was another masterpiece. Getting ready felt like participating in an obstacle course designed by someone who had never actually used a hotel room. It wasn't practical, user-friendly or particularly well thought out. There was also a distinct lack of basic room amenities, which left the room feeling more like a minimally furnished storage unit than a 4-star hotel room.
And then there was the shower. The water was so salty that after showering I felt like I should have been served with chips and vinegar. I'm not entirely sure whether I was washing myself or seasoning myself.
The hotel itself seemed to close down after 6pm. Three staff members appeared to be responsible for practically everything, and after early evening the place had all the atmosphere of a business waiting for the lights to be switched off permanently.
Speaking of atmosphere, the pool area was unbelievably quiet. “Peaceful” would be a generous description. It felt more like attending a funeral where nobody had told you who had died. You could practically hear people thinking.
Then came the pool rules. I’m still unsure whether these were genuine hotel rules or a joke. There seemed to be a rule for everything. At one point I half expected a lifeguard to produce a clipboard and ask me to submit a formal request before entering the water.
The food and drink prices were another issue. “Expensive” doesn't really cover it. The prices were criminal. I’ve seen less aggressive pricing in airport lounges. At those prices, I expected the waiter to arrive with the food, a financial adviser and a small equity stake in the hotel. (4 euro for 330ml can)
There were also some serious concerns during check-in. A photo was taken of our passports on a staff member's phone, and personal details were subsequently written/shared on an A4 sheet of paper. Whatever the hotel's intended process was, it certainly didn't inspire confidence from a data-protection or privacy perspective. That experience felt particularly uncomfortable and should be reviewed by hotel management.
And finally, the staffing. Three staff members seemed to be covering a property that was operating as though it had a much larger team. To be fair, the staff we encountered weren't the problem the issue appeared to be the overall operation and management of the hotel.
To be completely clear, this is not a 4-star hotel in our experience. At best, I'd put it at a low 3-star, and even then there would be plenty of room for improvement.
Seriously consider spending money here if it's £450+."
